We envy them, don’t we? The confident ones who exude calm self-assurance, who know exactly what to say, who are naturals at networking, and who can smooth over awkward moments like a charm. We watch them from afar, in awe of their social ease. It probably wouldn’t cross our minds to ask whether they ever struggle to strike up a conversation with a stranger.
So you might be surprised to hear that it’s completely normal for even the most seemingly confident amongst us to feel nervous sometimes when we find ourselves in exactly this kind of situation.
But why does this happen? Let's look at three possible reasons.
1. Self-Expectation and Presentation
Sometimes, socially confident people can actually struggle MORE in situations where they’re meeting new people. There’s always a degree of pressure that comes with wanting to make a good impression – if someone feels that they also have a reputation to maintain, it can make it that much harder for them to relax and be themselves around newcomers.
While projecting confidence can help make initial introductions go smoothly, it may also mask a nervousness around sharing anything too vulnerable as well.
2. Context-Specific Challenges
Just because someone is socially confident in one situation, doesn’t mean they will be in another! In fact, it’s completely normal for all of us to feel more confident in some situations than others. It could be that the person you’ve met who seems completely at ease around good friends, turns into a complete wreck around strangers. Or that they’re brilliant in structured work environments like meetings, and terrible at water cooler small talk.
What’s happening in our lives at a specific point in time can have a big impact on our ability to meet new people confidently, even for those who are usually outgoing and assured. Stress from work, personal relationships, or health issues can weigh heavily on someone’s mind and affect their mood and energy levels during social events.
3. Fear of Rejection
No matter how confident someone appears, the fear of rejection is powerful and deeply rooted! ‘What if they don’t like me?’ is a completely human response in situations where we’re faced with people we don’t know very well. Even when we’ve had success in past interactions, each new encounter brings its own uncertainties, which can momentarily undermine even the most socially adept person’s confidence.
Conclusion
If you’re someone who feels anxious, uncomfortable or awkward in situations where you’re meeting people you don’t know for the first time, remember that you’re not alone! Even the most socially confident people sometimes get a bit panicked or uncomfortable when meeting new people. But never fear – with the right tools, it’s absolutely possible to learn how to handle these kinds of early interactions in a way that leaves you feeling calm, confident and in control.
If you'd like to more about how I can help, drop me an email! It's hello@friendshift.co.uk
