I’ve had a few very similar conversations over the last couple of weeks.
The people I’ve spoken to have all found out that people they know, like, respect and trust voted a different way from them in the recent US election.
These are all people who care deeply about their country, and in each case, the horror, outrage and confusion have been palpable.
‘She felt like family!’ One person said to me.
No matter where they sit on the political spectrum, there’s one thing they all say:
‘I just don’t understand why.’
In today's polarised political climate, it's not uncommon to find ourselves at odds with friends, family members, or colleagues when it comes to voting choices. But before we jump to conclusions about the ‘kinds’ of people our friends must be to have voted differently from us, let’s take a second and countenance the idea that people we know, like, and trust can have valid reasons for voting differently than we do.
Let's foster some mutual understanding by exploring some of the main reasons your friends may have voted differently from you - and hopefully save some friendships too!
Reason #1 Different Circumstances and Life Experiences
Our upbringing and background significantly shape our view of what’s important politically. Someone who grew up in a rural area might have different priorities and concerns than someone raised in an urban environment.
Individual experiences with healthcare, education, or the job market can greatly influence voting decisions. A person who’s been long-term unemployed might have a particular interest in back-to-work schemes, or changes to the welfare system. A person who has struggled with access to medical care might prioritise healthcare reform, while someone whose child went to an underperforming school might focus on education policies.
We know that a person’s financial situation can heavily influence their voting choices. Higher earners might lean towards candidates who will keep their tax bill down, while those on lower incomes might prioritise candidates who promise to tax high earners and businesses and otherwise address high costs of living. Small business owner might prioritise policies that they believe will benefit their enterprise, for example tax breaks.
Reason #2 Different Ideas On Which Policies Will Lead To Social Success
People can have different visions of what constitutes ‘progress’ for society. What one person sees as a positive change, another might view as a threat to traditional values or stability.
Some voters prioritise a single issue above all others, because they believe that to be the overriding cause of concern. For instance, a person might vote based solely on a candidate's stance on environmental policy, even if they disagree with other aspects of their platform.
Reason #3 Varying Information Sources
The news sources we rely on can significantly impact our perspective on political issues. Your trusted friend might be exposed to different information channels, leading to differing views on candidates or policies.
We don’t just get our information from the news – our immediate social circles often reinforce our existing beliefs. Your acquaintance might be part of a community that collectively supports a different political stance, and there might be real social risks to voting differently.
Some people don’t have a strong interest in politics, even if they vote. They may not have tapped into many sources of information at all!
Reason #4 Strongly Held Personal Values and Beliefs
For many, deeply held religious or moral beliefs play a crucial role in their voting decisions. These convictions might lead them to support candidates or policies that align with their values, even if they disagree on other issues.
Reason #5 Different Ideas On What Constitutes An Effective Leader
For some, a show of strength might be seen as mere bravado. For others, it’s a core requirement for a complex, stressful role. We all have different qualities that we look for in our leaders, and we may be willing to overlook or forgive certain behaviours if we think they have what it takes to do the job.
Conclusion
If your first reaction on learning that your friend has voted differently to you is disbelief, a good starting point might be to lean in to your confusion! Perhaps they care about a different set of issues to you, or have a higher tolerance for certain types of behaviour if that means that other priorities they hold dear are given air time. Perhaps their unique experiences have shaped the way they see the world, perhaps they’re coming under pressure from friends or family, or perhaps they just haven’t thought it through in any great detail.
We don’t have to agree with our friends’ choices – but before we act rashly and potentially risk years of friendship, some thoughtful, well-placed questions could help us understand better where they’re coming from.
